homeless

it's been a year
and i still can't go home
because somehow
i couldn't see that
Mother Nature
hated me.
she has to,
because there's no way
someone who loves you
can throw down
such terrential rains
and cause me so
much pain-
take my family,
my mother
and grandmother
and brother
and sister
away from me.
some of them
are in that big
place full of stone
and granite
that worldly people call
the cemetery,
and some of my friends
drowned
and literally
floated on
to another land.

and they say i'm crazy
but i can't understand
in this country tis of this
sweet land of liberty
it would take a motherfucker
two days to
come to my rescue.
and i may seem mad
to you
but that's because i am,
and i know those
white collar shirt and tie wearing
people don't give a damn
about me
or my two story house
that's been in my family
for hundreds of years
and i shed so many tears
but it seems like your government officials
have no ears
to hear my cry;
and they're gonna make me
out of a lie
because i said we'd rebuild again

but here it is
a year later
and it hasn't gotten any greater
and my neighborhood
still sits in ruins
like a war or an
atomic bomb erupted-
like an atomic bomb erupted
and took away everything
i had worked for.
what more
can i do
because i still don't think
you see the bigger picture.
and your president
thinks i'm nothing but a nigger
so he could give a damn
about this man
as long as the WHITE house stands
but they're sending troops
to iraq and iran
i just don't understand.
but as i sit here in solitude
i can only pray
that one day
it'll get better.
it has to-

and i'm caught
in a dream.
dreaming of new orleans.

l.o.v.e
gkg

i've been reading...

...the narrative of the life of frederick douglass, an american slave, and i realize why i stopped reading stuff like this. in a sense, it makes me angry because when i read i escape reality and venture off into the world of the narrator; i become part of the scene and visually speaking, it's not been a good journey thus far. it's amazing to me how articulate and smart someone can be during a time when people went beyond the call of duty to make sure that we (black people) stayed dumb as shit. maybe that's what they should do now- try to keep us from getting an education because i think some people would probably see the value in it then. so many young people don't give a fuck about school, yet they think that they will grow up and be millionaires; and then there are those who will settle for working at mcdonald's for the rest of their lives as long as they can spare a little change to get them a dime bag on friday. come on people! there is more to life than that.

i was watching tupac resurrection last night and he actually had some great ideas. he said, "the reason why we brought the troops home from the vietnam war was because we were able to see on television how brutal and violently they were dying and being killed. so what i'm trying to do is expose the harshness of the ghetto to the world so that someone will want to help make the situation better for all of these people." makes sense if you ask me. a black revolutionary who just so happened to be a rapper. and we can't blame tupac for being an angry black man because in reality we all are if you push it to the limit. ask nikki- she'll tell you about me! lol. but seriously, we need to get it together. it's way past due ya'll. it's way past due.

love.
g

So i've graduated... now what

now comes this almost orgasmic feeling of pious indifference, if such an animal does indeed exist. i want to do something good. something right. something "for the people... my people." but sometimes, i don't think my people want to be helped. truly.
see, i started a tutoring service, because i felt it was my burden to come back and make something out of my degree since grad school was evading me (or i it, whatever pleases you, dear reader), and i found myself in a most angered state because, even though i'm charging them merely rice kernels (peanuts would be an overstatement) to have one on one tutoring given to their children, i still get complaints about the price (30 dollars a week) and the time (four days a week, after school). What they don't understand, and what i guess i didn't understand until a couple days ago, was that i don't have to do this. i don't owe this place anything. i just took it upon myself, being militant, black, industrious and having an afro... to give back to my mostly unemployed, overwhelmingly illiterate community. unfortunately, they did the same thing they've always done to me, put their snotty noses in the air, and gave me their asses to kiss. fortunately, i have a business partner who will not just let me up and quit the whole deal, which may be a good thing, as far as these kids are concerned. unfortunately for them all though, i'm in talks with a publishing company (yes again) to get a manuscript looked at and hopefully published. and then i will do what all college educated, intelligent, artistic and wholly "different" individuals from small towns do when said towns basically reject the beauty they've created... i will sit in my apartment, drinking tea and smoking cigarettes. i will go off to graduate school and become a scholar like none before (yeah right), i will have a prolific writing career, i will paint and write and party and speak and get paid to do it all... i will vacation and live wherever i choose at someone else's expense and no matter what, i will never go home again.